Coaching is not only about struggle and growth. It is also about celebration—pausing to take in day-to-day accomplishments and significant changes; noticing, naming and claiming changes in how you move through the world.
I recently had a client who had a profound breakthrough. In her words, she felt like she had achieved a “different level in the game”—whole new vistas were open for her. We spent the session talking about what this breakthrough meant and the impact on her present and future life. At the end of our session, I asked her if she wanted to mark or celebrate her transformation. Without hesitation, she exclaimed, “I will make a cake!” We talked about the kind of cake, who she would share it with and what she would tell them about the cake. A few weeks later, in our final wrap up session, she told me the story of baking the cake with her youngest child and sharing this celebration with her family— how they typically only celebrated birthdays and how special it was. I was struck by two things: first, this was a “birthday” of sorts, and how cool to celebrate it as such. Second, I shared with her how courageous I thought it was to share an important internal shift with others, but she said that she did not feel any fear at all, it just seemed like a natural expression of her experience—she completely owned the transformation.
There is science supporting the importance of celebration. When you celebrate, the body releases endorphins—feel-good chemicals. If you don’t stop and celebrate you may be denying yourself the opportunity for natural reinforcement. Celebration feels good and reinforces new or changed behavior you want to see again. (This is related to our last blog on “Hardcore Kindness”—"what fires together, wires together”.) If you don’t celebrate, you are training your brain that your accomplishments are unimportant. If you accomplish something, but don’t allow yourself the opportunity to experience the internal buzz of endorphins or the rush of pride, over time, everything feels blah… what’s the point?
If you struggle to give yourself the kudos you deserve and are finding yourself in the space of “blah…” maybe coaching is something that could help. If you enjoy this blog and are not already on my mailing list, please sign up from my website or share this blog with someone else. Please contact me at peghuntcoaching.com, for a free 60-minute consultation.
©Anne Garing and Peg Hunt
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